I've Left the LDS Church

I'll start off this post with a little bit of background.  I grew up in a household where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or Mormon) religion was taught, and I've been a member of the church since I was 8 years old.  For years I've had ups and downs with my experiences in the church, but I just dealt with the negative things because I was taught that this was the right religion, that some churches had some truth but that this church knew the complete truth and that this was the only true church on the face of the earth.  Because both my parents believe this and because I was surrounded by other people who also believe this, I believed it, too.

Back in college I started to take an objective look at the church and I had big problems with some of the doctrine and practices of the church, as well as some of the social aspects, too.  I was eventually able to reconcile most of those within myself in order to be sealed to Mc in the temple, but those issues have always been in the back of my mind and many things have never stopped bothering me.

For about 8 or 9 months now I've been seriously considering whether or not I want to stay in the church, and three weeks ago I made the decision to leave.  On August 1st, I wrote a letter and mailed it to Member Records in Salt Lake City, stating that effective immediately I want my name removed from the rolls of the church (they never actually remove your membership records-- they'll always be there-- they just make a note that you've left).  They received it sometime between August 4th and August 7th, and on the 10th I received a letter from them dated Aug. 7, saying that they received my letter but this is an ecclesiastical matter that needs to be handled by local priesthood leaders (which I already knew was the case since that's the process spelled out in the Church Handbook of Instruction).  And while the church has to do their own paperwork on this matter, LEGALLY as soon as Member Records got my letter I was no longer a member of the church.  So I was very happy to receive that letter from Member Records, and it was professional and kindly worded, which I appreciated.

Now, I want to make it clear that my marriage to Mc is perfectly fine and intact.  For those who may not be familiar with LDS customs, in the LDS church it's a stigma to get a divorce because you make covenants in the temple when you are married and "sealed for time and all eternity".  So even if you want out of a marriage, even if the marriage is terrible and you have so many reasons why you could and maybe even SHOULD leave, in LDS members' minds the only "good" reasons to get a divorce are 1) if there is physical abuse, 2) if one of them has an affair and is unrepentant about it, or 3) if one of them leaves the church.  Leaving the church is a HUGE and drastic step in LDS culture because they view it as basically turning your back on your salvation.  Our Home Teachers came over this past Sunday, and when I went in the back room to change a diaper, they asked Mc quietly, "So, are things okay in your marriage?" and Mc answered that yes, they're fine.

Unlike some members of the church, my leaving the church has NOTHING to do with my marriage.  My decision to leave has to do with doctrines that I don't believe in, practices that I don't agree with, and social aspects and ways of thinking that I think are wrong.  Many people have left the church for different reasons, and these are mine.  There are still some very good things about the LDS religion and I'm not disregarding everything about it; but the things about it that I disagree with happen to be many of the things that make this religion unique within Christianity.  This is already a long post so I won't spell out the specifics here, but I have many specific reasons and when I put them all together they are too much for me to want to stay.

Here are just a couple of things that influenced my decision:
1) a recent article written by an LDS man called "Sex, Men, and Modesty", which resonated with me and made a lot of things click in my mind that I've been trying to piece together for years:
http://bycommonconsent.com/2013/06/18/men-sex-and-modesty/
2) another recent article, this one from the New York Times, in which an area authority discussed his experiences with the church:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/21/us/some-mormons-search-the-web-and-find-doubt.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

And no, neither of these are "anti-Mormon propaganda"-- they're genuine articles that lay out the truth of what these men experienced, and they should be read as such.  Now, my decision to leave wasn't by any means solely based on these two articles, but they did carry a lot of weight in my decision because I strongly identified with both of them.

I'm so much happier now that I'm no longer in the church.  Some members might look at me and at others who have left the church and think, "She says she's happy, but she must be trying to convince herself of that.  She must actually be miserable.  How could she be happy when she's turning her back on the truth?!  This church is supposed to bring people happiness!"  But I am being 100% honest when I say that I am happier outside the church than when I was in it.  I feel happier, I feel at peace within myself, and I feel free.  For the past 8 or 9 months I've felt inner turmoil because I was so unhappy and yet I didn't know what to do, whether I should stay or leave the church.  But once I made the decision to leave, I was filled with inner peace and I knew it was the right decision for me.  Without the church, my life doesn't feel empty-- it feels simpler.  I don't feel lost-- I feel at peace.

Yes, Mc and I will have some decisions to make when it comes to our kids being in the church, but I've had issues with children and the church for years, and those issues would have been there whether or not I was a member.  We'll deal with that when the time comes.  And while Mc isn't happy about my decision, he's very supportive of me and he just wants me to be happy, and I am happy.  I've married a wonderful man.

I have no negative feelings toward any of my family members or friends for being members of the church, and I respect their beliefs, because I used to have the same ones.  That doesn't mean I agree with those beliefs, but I respect that they have them.  My family and Mc's family are good people, and I hope they will respect my decision even if they don't agree with it and don't have the issues with the church that I do.  I always welcome frank and honest discussion on this or any other topic, as long as the discussions stay respectful, of course.  ;)