Intensified Emotions

     That Time of the Month is pretty annoying and inconvenient and occasionally painful, but what bothers me the most about it is the mood swings.

     It's not only that I swing quickly from one mood to another, it's that my swinging emotions are much more intense than usual-- so when I'm happy, I'm joyful; when I'm sad, I cry.  I get a very short fuse, and if I'm feeling down, then I feel lost and depressed.

     That's where I am today.  I was going to take the kids out to the park this morning, but then I looked outside and it was raining, and I felt this instant panicky feeling of being trapped inside the apartment.  And all day today I've felt... lost, for lack of a better word.  I'm taking care of the kids' needs and all of that, but I feel lost, without direction, just unable to do anything.   I'm finding myself staring at the clock, just waiting for the day to be over.  I hate this feeling and I hate that I can't shake it off.

     I'm also feeling lonely.  There's a difference between being alone and being lonely; I'm used to being alone and it doesn't bother me, but today I'm feeling lonely and it hurts.

     A few months ago I removed a few acquaintances from my Facebook friends list.  All of the people I've kept on my friends list are family members and friends who mean a lot to me, because they're the reason I came back to Facebook in the first place.  And none of them live around me.  I had made a friend up here who had kids the same age as mine, but they recently moved back to Utah.  For months I had been making attempts to befriend the wife of one of Mc's friends up here, only to have confirmed a couple of days ago that she wants nothing to do with me.  She doesn't know me well at all and yet she had made up her mind about me a while ago, and it appears she didn't want anything to change her mind because she had been rejecting my offers to spend time together and to get to know each other better.  So fine, she wants me out of her life and now I am.  But it makes me sad because I genuinely wanted to be her friend and get to know her despite our personality differences, and she didn't want to try at all.  It's especially hard on me because I am not an outgoing person and I don't make friends easily; so the fact that I was putting myself out there and trying, it makes it that much harder to deal with.  The worst part of all of that, though, is this falling out between me and her will likely affect my friendship with her husband who I consider one of my friends.  So quite possibly there goes another friendship out the window.  Earlier today that incident wasn't on my mind, but thanks to these mood swings it's back in full force.

I hope people spend time in person with family and close friends who live near them, because trust me, it sucks when all the people who care about you and enjoy your company (husband and kids excluded) are hundreds or even thousands of miles away.

And I really hope these mood swings end soon because they're pissing me off!

Little One's 3rd Birthday

     This past weekend was Little One's third birthday.  It feels like he's been 2 forever, and yet he looks like he's been 3 forever.  ;)  We had his 3-year well-visit on Friday and he's in the 96th percentile for height and over 99th percentile for weight.  He's a big, solid kid!  I wouldn't be surprised if he grows up to be taller than Mc!  :)

     My parents came into town Friday night and we had Little One's birthday dinner.  We were going to go to Red Robin again like last year but it was a 40-minute wait, so we went to a restaurant down the street instead.  I forgot my camera but it was uneventful.  ;)  The food was pretty good.

     Saturday morning I had my last motorcycle class and I passed the riding test (and I aced the written test), so I went straight to the Department of Licensing and got my motorcycle endorsement!  But that meant that I had the car in the morning, so we had the afternoon to do birthday stuff.

     Usually on Saturdays we go to the Children's Museum a few cities up the freeway, but for a birthday treat we went to a fun place up the road where they have trampolines and a big climbing area.

Mc, Baby Girl, and Little One on the trampolines.

Little One entering the huge play area.

He loved the ball pit area.

My mom is taking a picture of him as he's jumping into the ball pit.

Baby Girl climbing through the tubes.

     That place is expensive and it was SO CROWDED!  Not only was it a Saturday afternoon but it was also raining outside, so rather than taking their kids to the park, parents just brought them here.  Our kids still had fun though, and it's a good birthday treat.

After a pizza dinner we opened presents and then had his birthday cheesecake.

The small pile of presents.

Baby Girl helped with the smallest one (it was a Winnie the Pooh DVD).

Winnie the Pooh nightlight.

He LOVED this present.  That's Peep, Chirp, and Quack
from his favorite TV show "Peep and the Big Wide World".

Baby Girl liked them, too.
Oh, and I got him some new clothes too, and that green sweater is one of them.
He wanted to wear it, so I obliged.

Another toy he loved.  This was from one of my sisters:
they are trucks with geometric shapes inside that you can fit together.

When he saw the lit candles, he climbed onto the table to blow them out.
That was a funny moment.

Look at that: a perfectly good piece of cheesecake in front of him
and he'd rather play with the shapes.  That's our boy.  :)

     My other sister and her husband sang Happy Birthday to him on my voicemail, and Nana and Pappy sent him a cute birthday card.  It was a nice birthday, one that he'll never remember but we will.  ;)  Happy Birthday, Little One!