What the Hell Was I Wearing??

Today I went through my two oldest photo albums to count the approximate number of photos in there so I can know how many new photo albums to buy.  These two albums are a couple of decades old-- they're the acid kind with sticky pages and I don't want these photos to get ruined.

Looking through the photos, I remember good times I had as a kid and I'm really glad I kept these photos all these years.  But as I was looking through them, for picture after picture I thought to myself, "What the hell was I wearing??"

Some of those pictures were from the 80's and early 90's, so I've got a pass there.  ;)  But really, as I got into my teen years I think I used to just put on any old thing.  I knew I certainly wasn't "stylish" but I didn't realize how often I settled for clothes that flat-out didn't fit me!

I guess I used to be self-conscious about my curves or something because most of the shirts I wore did absolutely nothing for my figure; in fact, many of them hid my figure all together and I looked like I was wearing a bedsheet.  Whether it was junior high and high school when I was going through puberty and I was curvy, or whether it was in college when I was really thin-- all of my shirts were baggy and most of them were completely shapeless.

You know what?  I just realized what it was.  The LDS church teaches that boys and girls shouldn't wear immodest clothes, which they define as, "any clothing that is tight, sheer, or revealing in any other manner," ("For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet, p.6), because immodest clothing says you're using your body to get attention, and girls who wear tight or revealing clothing are distracting boys who are trying to keep their thoughts "pure".  I wanted to be a good Mormon who followed the church's standards and I didn't want to be a cause for boys to think "impure" thoughts, so I purposely wore baggy t-shirts and big jeans and things that weren't form-fitting or curve-revealing in the slightest.  I actually remember one time in my junior year of high school I got rid of a couple of shirts for the specific reason that they were now tight and that went against church standards.

Well, the result was that I looked awful.  I wore makeup and I did my hair every day, so I didn't look ragged, but I definitely looked dumpy.  I do remember I used to be self-conscious about my body and I used to think I was fat, but looking back at those pictures I realize I wasn't fat at all; on the contrary: I had a cute figure but I looked fat and shapeless in those clothes.

Now that I'm older and I'm not worried about the Mormon standard for dress, I feel more free to experiment with clothing to figure out what styles suit me better, given my body's proportions, and I've made some nice discoveries:

• I look best in skirts and dresses that are at mid-thigh length.  My previous limit of at-the-knee-or-lower made my calves look short and stumpy and I looked out of proportion.

• I look best in shirts that are tight and with the neckline extending out almost to the edge of my shoulders and showing a little bit of cleavage.  Anything loose makes me look 30 lbs. heavier.  Narrow necklines make my neck look wide and my torso look compact, like I'm constantly shrugging.  Necklines too high make my breasts look like they're hanging down a foot, and necklines too low make me look like I have no waist.

It's amazing how such tiny details can greatly affect how the shape of your body looks!

My wardrobe still has a long way to go before I look awesome in all of my clothes, but I'm getting braver at using my sewing machine, so my clothes can get the perfect fit for my body.  I never again want to see current photos of myself where I look dumpy and shapeless!  I've got curves, baby; I've learned to accept them, and I want my clothing to reflect that healthier mindset.