I Can Never Read "Fifty Shades of Grey"

     I didn't watch the Golden Globe awards this past Sunday, but apparently one of the commercials was a 60-second preview for the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie which comes out next month.  There are three reasons why I will never read the Fifty Shades of Grey book or watch the movie... and I will say right off the bat that the BDSM factor is not one of the reasons.

     BDSM is an overarching term that encompasses the sexual practices of Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism.  I am supportive of those practices as long as these conditions are met: it is done safely, it is done by mentally and emotionally mature adults, there is open communication and trust between both participants, and both participants are doing it 100% consensually.  If those conditions are met, then go for it! (and if not, then don't you dare!).

My reasons for never wanting to read Fifty Shades of Grey are:
1) It's a Twilight fan fiction
2) The writing style is bad and distracting
3) The relationship between the main characters is unhealthy (not because of the BDSM element of their relationship, but rather because of how they do the BDSM)

Twilight Fan Fiction
     Here is a 9-minute video I found of an interview with E.L. James, the Fifty Shades author:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpm_1iERyoU

     E. L. James said she was inspired to write these books after reading the Twilight series.  Many Twilight aspects are also found in Fifty Shades of Grey: the story takes place in Seattle, the main character is a flat female character with an empty head and almost no personality, and the love interest is an abusive stalker (more about that later).  In the interview she says that this book was sort-of her midlife crisis, all her fantasies in one.  I have my own sexual fantasies, and I just don't want to read about someone else's that were inspired by Twilight.  I have no desire to read Twilight, much less a pornographic version of it.

The Writing Style
     I am by no means a perfect writer, but this is a big one for me because I can't stand reading books where the style of writing distracts me from the story.

     Last year I was trying to find humor columnist Dave Barry's article online entitled "From Now On, Let Women Kill Their Own Spiders", when I came across an article he had written about Fifty Shades of Grey.  His article was funny, and as a writer one of his big problems with this book is how it is written.  Here is Dave Barry's article:
http://time.com/3030375/dave-barry-50-shades-of-grey/

     At the time I read this I was in the middle of reading Uncle Tom's Cabin for the first time, which is an awful book: it's overwhelmingly preachy; on numerous occasions the author stops telling the story and addresses the reader directly; and only about 1/5 of the story actually has Tom in it even though the author tells us that "he is to be the hero of our story" and his name is in the freakin' title.  But more awful than all of those: Harriet Beecher Stowe is the queen of adjectives and adverbs.  Everything seemed to have three to five descriptive words attached to it, and it was description overkill throughout the entire book.  So when I read about Dave Barry's problem with how E. L. James writes, I said, "Oh there's no way I'd ever be able to get through that book!  No way at all!"

     Now, a few months ago I did check out Fifty Shades of Grey from the library because I had read online that the characters' relationship was an unhealthy one and I wanted to read the book for myself and form my own opinions about it.  But I got through two pages before I said to myself, "Nope, I can't do it!" because I saw that the book is written in the first-person, present tense narrative.  For example: "I stand rather shakily, trying to suppress my nerves.  Gathering up my backpack, I abandon my glass of water and make my way to the partially opened door." (p. 7).  I flipped through the book to random spots and yep, the entire book is written like that, which means the whole time the reader is in the main character's head.  The author probably did that so the reader could more easily imagine herself in the girl's place during the sex scenes, but it's very difficult for me to read an entire book from that perspective.

**As a side note, I've been wondering whether Fifty Shades of Grey could be labeled erotic or pornographic.  There are important differences between the two, and I found this article which explains the differences pretty well:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201104/what-distinguishes-erotica-pornography
While I haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey for the reasons I listed above, from what I know of the book it is not erotica-- it's pornography. **

Unhealthy Relationship
     Because I knew I couldn't stand reading the book, I had to go on other people's description of Anastasia's and Christian's relationship.  In the interview with E. L. James that I linked above, the interviewer introduced the segment by saying that the book is a novel but that some couples are taking it more like a how-to manual, and that has me worried because these main characters do not have a healthy relationship in or out of bed.  Dave Barry went into it a bit, but I've read other reviews about this as well.

     Anastasia spends the book thinking she can change Christian and make him into her vision of a good boyfriend, and Christian spends the book asking her to do sexual things that she's not ready for and controlling her life beyond what a good dominant sexual partner should do.  Properly-done BDSM relies so much on trust and respecting boundaries, and there are times when Christian pushes her beyond what she's comfortable with and sometimes he even punishes her for reacting negatively to something; and that makes these scenes sexual assaults rather than fully consensual sex.  She doesn't stand up for herself, she's too overcome with desire for him because he's so dang hot.

     He stalks her, which is absolutely not a desirable thing despite what Hollywood likes to portray.  But because Christian is super hot then the stalking is somehow okay.  I'm still preparing for my upcoming self-defense class and there are so many issues I have with the stalking and boundary crossing aspects of this book, but I won't get into that here.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

     Now, if this book inspires women to explore their own sexuality, then that's fantastic!  Humans, both men and women, are sexual beings; wanting to try BDSM doesn't make you weird or troubled or a sinner or a freak.  You're fine.  But I'm concerned that too many women will think Christian's and Anastasia's relationship is what a good BDSM relationship looks like, because it isn't (just like girls who read Twilight are told to believe that the controlling, intimidating, forceful, and stalking actions of the men are signs of love).  If you want to know what makes a healthy BDSM relationship then you can find it on the internet, there's some good information out there.

     Ultimately I think women who have read Fifty Shades of Grey will be disappointed with the movie because of this simple fact: it's only rated R.  This book is pornographic, no doubt about it, and the R-rated movie's details will come nowhere close to the stuff they read and liked in the book.  But hey, if watching the movie will get women interested in having sex more often with their husbands and being open minded to trying new things, then that's one good thing to take away from the movie.  ;)