Be Ye Therefore Perfect

There are some passages of scripture that have always bothered me, and this is one of them, which is quoted quite often in the LDS church: "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48).  I was reading in the new "Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow" manual, and there is a whole chapter on this topic, called "Becoming Perfect before the Lord: 'A Little Better Day by Day'." (p. 93).  It won't be taught in church for another couple of weeks, but I was flipping through the book today and I read it.  I am going to rant about this.  If you don't want to hear it, stop reading now.

Growing up in the church, I heard over and over again that we are supposed to be perfect.  I also heard that "The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord..." (Mosiah 3:19).  I know there's more to the scripture, but this is what I am focusing on.

I'm a perfectionist by nature-- it's just the way I am-- and so I'm naturally hard on myself when I screw up.  So then add to that the expectations of the Church and the Lord for me to be perfect all the time... I was in a near constant state of depression as a teenager at my lack of ability to be perfect and to overcome my "natural man".  Then add to that, Lorenzo Snow says, "We must not allow ourselves to be discouraged whenever we discover our weakness... [we must] constantly [seek] to overcome, to win the prize and thus prepare [ourselves] for a fulness of glory." (p. 101).  So now not only am I expected to be perfect and I'm failing at it, but I'm also not supposed to get discouraged when I fail-- even though by my very nature I'm an "enemy to God" and I'm failing to live up to his standards.  Yeah yeah, I know, "Everyone messes up, that's what repentance is for."  Repentance is another topic and one I'm not going to get into right now.

Lorenzo Snow says, "How can a Latter-day Saint feel justified in himself unless he is seeking to purify himself even as God is pure..." (p. 99).  He goes on to say, "[The Lord] expects [his children's] obedience and that they will endeavor to cast aside all sin, to purify themselves and become indeed His people, His Saints, so that they may be prepared to come into His presence, be made like unto Him in all things and reign with Him in His glory." (p. 99).

So according to the Church, that's the end goal of all this life: to earn our way into the Celestial Kingdom and to be perfect just like the Lord is so that we can live with Him.  But you know what?  I don't care about that right now, I really don't.  You know what I do care about right now?  Making sure my kids are fed, clothed, clean, and well-rested.  Trying to be a good wife to my husband.  I'm concerned with keeping the floors and the couch free of food; I'm concerned with keeping dishes and counters clean; I'm concerned with teaching my children the English language and with trying to get through to my daughter: "Do NOT hit Little One on the head!  It hurts!"  And on top of all that, I'm trying to find some time to myself where I can read and think and ponder about things or just relax and rejuvenate.

I am no longer concerned with trying to "perfect" myself, because it just isn't going to happen.  I am a "natural man", and rather than hating and despising myself for it, I've decided to accept things about myself that are never going to change.  There is no way I will ever be perfect and I'm not going to spend the rest of my life kicking myself every time I make a mistake.  I will still be a good person and I will always seek ways to learn and grow because I want to, but I am no longer going to weigh myself down with an unrealistic expectation of perfection.  And do you know what Lorenzo Snow has to say about that?  "We are no better than the rest of the world if we do not cultivate the feeling to be perfect, even as our Father in heaven is perfect." (p. 102).  Well guess what: the "rest of the world" really isn't so bad.  Too often Mormons see the word "world" and they think "bad".  Bad people, evil influences, atrocities, etc.  But there are so many good, honest, chaste, benevolent, virtuous people in the world who simply do not believe what Mormons believe, and that's not a bad thing.  I would argue that many of them live more fulfilling lives than Mormons do because they are not weighed down with the constant expectation to be perfect.

I am going to put my energies into being a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, a good neighbor and citizen.  Whatever happens to us when we die will take care of itself when we are dead.  Let the afterlife take care of itself-- I am going to spend my life living and enjoying the good things that this life has to offer and improving myself for myself and not because scriptures or Church leaders tell me to.