Health Issues

     I was going to write about these health issues of mine after I'd had things figured out, but I don't have them figured out yet and it's been a while, so I'm going to write about it now.  It's not as serious as it used to be, so that's good, but I want to describe what I'm going through.  I'm going to be fairly detailed, so I'll bold the main points to make skimming easier.  ;)

     Last June while doing a strenuous activity I got what's called a thunderclap headache, which is basically an instantaneous migraine.  About 10 years prior to this, I'd gotten a blunt injury to the base of my skull which I stupidly didn't get checked out, and that's where this headache was originating, so I wondered if this was part of that same injury.  The headache lasted for two days, so I went to the ER to see what was wrong.

     At the hospital I got a bunch of tests done which ruled out an aneurysm.  The doctor wanted to schedule an MRI to make sure everything was fine, and during that MRI they found a small cyst on my pineal gland, which is in the very center of my brain.  This isn't as serious as it sounds.  These cysts are very common-- about 25% of people have one-- and most of them are small and benign and cause no problems.  The larger ones can cause headaches, vision problems, vertigo, messed up circadian rhythm, and light sensitivity.  I've suffered from headaches since I was a teenager, I've had a screwed up sleep cycle for about the past three years, and I've developed a sensitivity to light over the past year-and-a-half or so.  I'd also read in a couple of places that these larger cysts can cause seizures, and while I haven't experienced that yet, I was worried that it might happen.

     Six months later in December I had a followup MRI to see if the cyst had grown.  It hadn't.  But I made an appointment with the neurologist anyway to talk about the symptoms I'd been experiencing and about my fears about seizures and what steps, if any, I could take to get rid of these problems.

     The neurologist explained to me that wherever I'd read about this type of cyst causing seizures, it was flat-out wrong.  Seizures occur on the outer edges of the brain, not from the center where my cyst is.  I will never, ever get a seizure from this cyst.  He also explained that my cyst is small and benign, so there's a good chance it isn't the cause of my headaches, messed up sleep cycle, or sensitivity to light.  I started to cry in his office when I realized that my fears of having a seizure from this cyst were misplaced, and I felt relieved.  But at the same time I was also crying because I thought I had figured out the cause of these problems, and now I felt like I had to start from scratch to figure things out.  The doctor was caring and understanding; he offered me some tissues and together we talked about what I'm experiencing and what the causes might be.

     He asked me if I feel stressed a lot, and I said yes.  He asked if I wake up feeling rested, and I said almost never.  He then asked if I snore at night, and I said I don't think so but I would ask Mc when I got home (it turns out I do snore).  He said he was asking these questions because it's possible I have sleep apnea, which would make me feel fatigued instead of rested when I wake up, and the lack of good sleep could be contributing to my headaches because my brain isn't getting the rest it needs.  He gave me a referral to their sleep center to get tested for sleep apnea.  He told me that if I need to talk to him about anything else, to give him a call.

     I felt much better after that appointment.  In the car on the way home and for the rest of the day I thought about what I've been dealing with and the possible causes and what I can do about them.  Here are the things I did to address the migraines:

• If I'm outside during the day and it's sunny and bright, I get a bad headache (that migraine I got on Mc's birthday was because of the bright sun at the zoo, and then other people's screaming/crying kids made the migraine worse).  I made an appointment with the eye doctor to get prescription sunglasses, and they've helped a lot.  I also found out that my eyeglasses prescription was one prescription too strong, so I got my correct prescription and that has helped as well.  These lenses also have a filter on them that filters out some of the blue wavelengths so my eyes won't get as tired from the computer screen.
• I started getting regular massages.  I carry a lot of tension in my neck, and I sleep on my sides and stomach which are better for breathing but bad for my neck, and so I thought perhaps some of these headaches are tension headaches.  After a few deep-tissue massages in that area, I now get headaches less frequently.  And this place I found takes our insurance, so I got a referral from my neurologist and now our insurance is paying for the massages.  All insurance plans are different, and mine will cover 18 massages a year, so this is working out well.
• I got a memory foam topper for our mattress.  The mattress we got is too hard and it was hurting my shoulders and hips and lower back, so this memory foam mattress topper helps with that.  I still don't feel rested when I wake up, but at least I don't feel stiff and in pain.  The chemical smell gave me a headache at first so I had to air it out for a week or so, and now it's hardly noticeable.

     Those were the easy fixes.  I am still sensitive to light, to loud sounds, and to certain smells like scented candles, potpourri, perfumes, etc.; that won't go away, but at least I'm managing the sensitivity to light.  The tough part for me is managing stress.

     Being a mother of young kids stresses me out.  The kids are loud, which triggers headaches.  They're also messy, and that stresses me out: dishes don't stay clean, laundry doesn't stay clean, the floors don't stay de-cluttered, the kitchen table doesn't stay clean, and toys don't stay put away in their toy bin.  I clean an area of the house, and an hour later it's messy again and I didn't cause the mess, I'm cleaning other people's mess.  I don't have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), but it stresses me out when things don't stay clean, and these repetitive tasks are wearing on me.  I heard once that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  ;)  Makes sense to me why some stay-at-home parents say, "I feel like I'm going crazy!" because the cleaning they do doesn't make a difference.  I feel like I have little control over my environment.

     So yesterday I figured something out that will help: during the day, I will ignore messes; just ignore them completely (unless it's spilled liquid).  I asked Mc to always call or text me when he's on his way home, so that when he says he's on his way home, that's the start of Cleaning Time.  I'll tell the kids "Let's clean the house for Daddy", and I'll have the kids help me clean up.  That way they're learning to do something for someone else (so that Daddy will be so happy when he sees the house is clean), they're learning responsibility by cleaning their messes, and I won't get stressed by seeing a recently cleaned area all messy again.  Today was the first day trying this and it went well; if we do this every day, then the cleaning will be easier.  This will also help me enjoy playing with the kids and enjoy my own hobbies during the day because I know there's going to be a time for cleaning, that it won't be a constant chore looming over my head throughout the day.  And then Mc can come home and see the house clean, so he can tell I did stuff throughout the day.  He's never been a jerk and asked, "So, did you actually do anything today?" but when I'm a housewife and he comes home and sees the house is as messy as or messier than when he left, I bet he wonders that sometimes.  Now it'll be clean for at least a while when he gets home.

     This year has been rough because I've had almost no time to myself.  I'm an introvert, and one of the main things about being an introvert is we need peace and quiet, or at least alone time, in order to relax and rejuvenate.  Extroverts feel rejuvenated by spending time with people, but introverts need time to ourselves.  Baby Girl missed the birthday cutoff for getting into kindergarten this year, so I've been homeschooling her, and Little One's developmental preschool is only two days a week at this school rather than every day.  So being around my kids all day every day, I don't get that time to myself that I need to rejuvenate, and I feel worn out more easily and more often.  Last year was different because we had Baby Girl in a Montessori school and she went for a few hours every day, and Little One went to preschool for a couple of hours every day at the same time, so I had about an hour-and-a-half to myself every morning.  Next year things will be better because Baby Girl will be in full-day kindergarten and Little One will be going to his preschool for a few hours four days a week instead of two days a week, so I'll have a few hours to myself most weekdays.  But this year has been rough for me, and it's not over yet.

     Lastly, the poor sleep.  There's a poster in the sleep doctor's office that says if you have these symptoms, there's a really good chance you have sleep apnea:

• Restless sleep
• Falling asleep while driving and/or during the day
• Loss of energy
• Irritability
• Mood or behavior changes
• Loud, heavy snoring
• Morning headaches
• Trouble concentrating
• Forgetfulness
• Anxiety or depression
• Decreased interest in sex.

     I have every one of those symptoms.  That list basically describes my life for the past few years, but more strongly for the past year or so (all except the falling asleep while driving---I've never done that, but my body does feel the need to take a nap every day).  The doctor set me up with an at-home sleep test that monitors breathing and heart rate to see if I stop breathing at all during the night.

     Both of my parents have sleep apnea; my father is overweight but my mother isn't, and so it's possible that I'm genetically prone to having it.  I didn't notice this problem with sleeping, though, until I became overweight myself.  I gained about 50 lbs. with my second pregnancy, and I didn't start noticing this poor sleep until about a year after my son was born.  My body's hormones were back to normal, but I was still overweight.  I eat fairly healthy and so I'm not gaining weight, but the poor sleep has slowed down my metabolism and so I'm not losing weight either, and the weight is keeping me from getting good sleep; it's a bad cycle.

     Sleep apnea is serious stuff.  Being overweight can lead to sleep apnea, but so can severe allergies, drinking alcohol, smoking, sleeping on your back, and it can also be hereditary.  The list above is what you go through short-term, but the long-term effects can include: high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, impotence, cognitive dysfunction, memory loss, and stroke.

     After learning the bad effects that sleep apnea can have on our bodies, I got Mc an appointment with the sleep doctor as well because of symptoms I've noticed in him over the years; I was almost certain he had sleep apnea.  Mc's results came back and he does indeed have mild sleep apnea (I knew it!).  However, my results came back inconclusive.  I felt so defeated when I got that news.  Now I have another sleep appointment in their clinic tomorrow night.  I'll be hooked up to a bunch of sensors and they will be able to record not only my breathing and heart rate but also my eye movement, muscle activity, and brain waves, which the at-home test can't do.  They'll be someone there monitoring me all night, and they'll tell me to turn over on my back during the night if I don't do that on my own, so they can see how I breathe when I'm on my back.

     This sleep test is another milestone.  If these results show I do have sleep apnea, then I will probably get hooked up with a CPAP machine that will help me sleep better, and I'm hopeful that this will solve so many of these sleep-deprivation-caused problems I'm having.  However, if the results come back and they say I don't have sleep apnea, then I don't know what the hell is going on and I'll have to start from scratch again and try to figure out on my own why I'm not sleeping well.  Tomorrow night is the test and I'll find out the results probably in a couple of weeks, and we'll see where to go from there.   I'm so ready to start getting better sleep!